apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
