look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
