new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize