well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
