Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
