real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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