i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
