Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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