i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and she was petting her beer can
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
