I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
