I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
