There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
