i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
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girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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