I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
