I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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