I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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