Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
