If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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