I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
