Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize