i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize