does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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