At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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