we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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