Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
