The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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