He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
