So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
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i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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