I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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