Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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