He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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