I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
