I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
