Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
