I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?