Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.