Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He passed out mid-signature
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...