i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?