Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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