HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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