I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
