The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
