I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
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you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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