5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
