Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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