She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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