Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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