I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
