if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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