shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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