fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize