The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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