Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
