i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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