You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
