The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
