you guys were way drunker than both of me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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