Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
