i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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