Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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