do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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