I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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